The tears that i cry
by Aeriel Cross
Summary: What’s a Noah’s definition? Tyki ponders over this as he faces his death. A monster? Am I even human…?


Title: The tears that I cry

Author: Aeriel Cross

Genre: Tragedy / Angst

Summary: What's a Noah's definition? Tyki ponders over this as he faces his death. A monster? Am I even human…?

N: Hmm. This is the Tyki fanfic I was talking about. Just read and enjoy…my hands and brain are too exhausted to say anything already…-heavy panting and choking-

Disclaimer: I do not own D.Gray Man. But I owe…Spoofie…

_So it all comes to the end…_

The battle was raging on, and as things are going on now, the Earl was definitely not going to like the way things are going. It was so obvious the protagonists were winning – they had the upper hand. Skin Bolic, Lulubell and Jasdero were dead, leaving only him, Tyki Mikk, and Debitto, Rhode and of course the Earl. However, Debitto was clearly in no condition to fight – Jasdero's death had made him crazy, attacking without prior point or aim, just hoping to vent his fury. He understood how Debitto felt, as Debitto shared the deepest bond between Jasdero in the Noah family. He wished he could help Debitto as Akumas obscured him from his view, but Debitto was too far away, and the battle was too fierce. His and Rhode's side were almost on the verge of giving in. 'On, my Akumas!!' The Earl could be heard screaming faintly somewhere far off to the left.

The painful feeling of loss hit him, and he knew that Debitto was gone. That leaves only him, Rhode and the Earl. Even though they have managed to kill off a few exorcists, there was still enough to defeat them. The redhead and the samurai exorcist were especially hard to get rid of. They kept on destroying any Akuma sent their way, and Rhode's dimension will be giving out soon. Rhode didn't have much fighting abilities, it was just unfair. Finders kept on dying, but more kept replacing them. They were the Noahs, superior humans chosen by God, they were supposed to win. But why were the exorcists winning? They were just petty human beings compared to them…

_Don't kill them…they're all I have left…_

Tyki was a little taken aback by the sudden thought. That's right, they were all he had left, like what the Earl told him from the start. Ever since he awoke as a Noah, his whole life had been turned upside-down. He was no longer considered normal. People shunned him, treating him as if he had the plague. He thought he was never going to find happiness again. He hated humans, hated them for what they did. He used to believe them when they called him monster, but the Earl showed him that he was different, special, and unique. He was a chosen apostle of God, so much more superior than those lowly human beings. Then the other Noahs showed up, and he had a family, no longer alone. For the first time then he found a place where he can belong.

'Tyki…i…can't…' Rhode's voice was strained. Pained.

'You must, Rhode…after this I'll give you sweets, free-flow, alright?' he replied.

What was the first reaction from his human friends when they saw him in a Noah's form? Monster, they said. Screaming, fleeing in terror. Scared of him.

_I'm your friend._

We're all going to be killed, they cried. Every single one of his victims had the same reaction, and because of that he was hurt over and over again. Soon, he decided that he had no more use for emotions for humans any more, treating them as toys he could play with. He could remember the time Allen Walker confronted him. He had demanded how he could kill so many humans without a care in the world, so unfeelingly, in cold blood, as if it were as simply as throwing rubbish away.

_Tell me, boy. Will you feel sorry for the death of an ant that you have stepped on?_

The difference between a Noah and a mere human is so vast that they no longer feel a link between them – so detached. Whatever the humans did were none of their business, he believed. They were just so insignificant. So fragile. They were merely their toys.

_I'm different from you._

But recently, his beliefs were shaken. Shattered. If he said that he was superior because he was the chosen apostle of God, where would that put him now? He wasn't winning – did they God betray them? Left them? Then would he still be considered a Noah? Noahs were, in the eyes of the humans, cold, merciless beings that kill in icy blood, laughing as you died. No forgiveness. No compassion. Just the unending desire to kill and cause pain. Maybe even for one another, they don't feel. But no. because of the humans, they have to be together, sharing this special bond between them created by their God.

_We're just reflecting the pain we feel back to you._

If it wasn't because of them, shunning and hating things that they didn't understand, cooking up scandalous rumors about them, Tyki was sure the Noahs wouldn't be the same like today. Snapping his full attention back to the battle, he realized with a horror that Rhode's imaginary dream world was shattering – that would reveal their location to the protagonists.

'Tyki…i…can't…' Rhode looked feebly towards Tyki, voice trembling. Her face was white, so unnaturally pale. It pained Tyki to see her so weak. Rhode, despite being the oldest Noah, wasn't built for battles, and even her powers can't hold on for three days straight. She was just a girl…

'It's alright, Rhode…I'll keep my promise about the sweets, okay? You can rest…' Tyki managed through clenched teeth, trying his best to keep his voice steady. He could see she was just managing to hold on by a thin thread which was about to snap soon.

'I'm sorry….Tyki…remember your promise…' Rhode gave him a smile, so innocent, so pure, then slowly reached her hand out towards him, and then in a violent burst of white light, Rhode's entire illusionary world shattered into bits, like glass, like snow, then turned into countless petals, fluttering gently to the ground. Tyki could only stand there, too shocked to do anything. Harsh sunlight blinded him, but he didn't close his eyes. Rhode was gone, and now he's all alone.

He'll be next.

A terrible fury overwhelmed him, and he screamed, a feral cry of a wild beast. He threw himself into the melee, destroying everything in his path, blood and screams splattering his path. He didn't care anymore, be it Akuma, finder or exorcist that he killed. He just wanted to vent his fury, just had to let some of it go, or else he'd explode. Now he was the only Noah left – what does it matter now? Even if he won, he'd be all alone. When will it be till the Noahs come back again? Even still, they won't be the family they knew now, will it? They're all gone now. Dead. He would have to endure the pain he felt before, the stares, the accusing tones. He always had nightmares about it, and woke up in cold sweat, but with his family around, he felt safe. But with them gone, his whole world crashed down.

_What do I do without you now?_

At last, when he was entirely exhausted, Kanda, the Japanese exorcist finally got through his defenses, gaining a direct hit to his shoulder. Falling down onto one knee, breathing heavily and entirely exhausted, he resigned himself to his fate – he no longer cared anymore. His shoulder felt as if it was on fire, something wet trickling down his arm. His anger had vanished as quickly as it had come, leaving behind nothing but a bone-deep tiredness and terrible heart grief, as if his heart was bleeding, weeping blood for his lost family. A footstep before him made him look right up into the eyes of a white haired exorcist wielding a large sword.

'Tyki Mikk.' Said Allen Walker.

So he have beaten the Earl. It would seem like his God has betrayed them long ago. Then what did he gain from the pain and solitude all those past years? Nothing. He recalled calling those humans 'foolish beings' – maybe they themselves were the foolish ones not to have realized the truth at all.

'Allen Walker…' he looked into the boy's eyes directly, challenging him. 'Tell me – do you think of me as a human…or a monster? What am I to you? Am I a…monster?'

'Huh?' Allen looked rather surprised at the question. 'A human, of course. Why would you say a monster?'

A human. So the guy thought of him as a human – he bet that the boy himself knew how he once felt, treated like a monster. But the boy was saved, and he was not. He was chosen by the wrong God – they all were. Given another change, he was sure if he and Allen Walker met under a different circumstance, they would be good friends. Everyone, him, and the exorcists. Maybe its because of all those years of hatred directed at him from humans, he had been led to believe they were all the same. All these years of arrogance had been just a lie to convince himself he was so much better than them. Like Rhode, like Jasdebi…but it's all over now. He'll be free soon. He felt tears pooling up in his eyes, and was surprised. He was crying? But he knew this wasn't the Noah in him crying. This was _him_ crying. Crying for his friends, his family, himself, everything.

'I see…I'm glad for that.' Tyki turned his head away to wipe the tears away, but they simply wouldn't stop. He saw the carnage all around him, and the exorcists standing around him. He was the only enemy left.

'You're…' Allen's face was in total disbelief and shock.

'Who says Noahs don't cry?' pushing himself up to his feet, he smiled as the exorcists immediately guarded against him. 'Well, boy, relax. I'm not going to attack you or anything…' a hacking cough racked his body, as blood spurted out of his mouth. He didn't have much time left anyway.

'What are you going to do?' Allen's eyes narrowed in suspicion. He couldn't blame the boy though – Allen had been through way too much.

'You know, I really enjoyed playing cards with you, boy…' Tyki suddenly tossed his head back in a ruthless laugh, as his body suddenly slowly started to turn to mist and disappearing. 'I was hoping to play with you again…I guess that's impossible now.'

'What trick are you pulling?' Kanda growled menacingly.

'Trick? No, I'm self-destructing, my dear exorcists. You've won fair and square this time, Allen,' he looked down at his hands, turning more and more translucent by the second. 'I'm sure if we've met under a different circumstance…if I wasn't a Noah, and you weren't an exorcist…we'd be friends…'

'No!! Tyki!! Stop it!!' The boy's eyes were so wide and fearful, fearing for…him? He didn't know that someone would care if he died.

'Nah. It's a pity, isn't it?' Even his voice was turning fainter. 'It's the only way to end it.'

'But-!!'

'You see, I'm not that different from you. We're just the same after all. Let me…end this my way…before I go, can I ask you a question…?'

'What?' Allen looked up tearfully at the Tyki, but his voice was surprisingly strong and steady.

'If we meet again…both you and i…in another circumstance, shall we…play cards again?' By now, only the faint outline of Tyki can be seen, his voice was so light like the touch of a feather Allen had to strain his ears to hear him.

'Yeah…we'd be friends, I guess,' Allen nodded. 'I…see you later, Tyki.'

'Yeah…friends maybe…' Tyki looked up to the sky, then closed his eyes. 'Thank you.' Even as he said that, Tyki's outline wavered, blurred, and finally disappeared.

'Allen-kun?' Leenali limped up to him, bleeding from several injuries byt generally unharmed. 'He…'

'He was smiling when he left,' Allen replied, then turned and smiled. 'Now, shall we go look for survivors?'

'They're mostly done – but I'm hungry. Aw' Lavi slung an arm around Allen and Kanda and dragged them off. It was all over now, the thousands years of hatred and bloodshed, come to an end now. Behind them, thousands of petals lay on the ground, and as the wind blew over, they shifted to reveal an ace card, partly stained with crimson blood, the last remnants of those who once fought bravely there.

Years later, this war was entered into history books, and over time, people began to forget what happened then, but in the hearts of the people who were there, the promise still remains etched into their hearts and memories.

_The next time, we'd meet under different circumstances, we'd play cards again._

_And we shall be friends._

_I promise._

fin

A.N: Sad. I think I veered off topic. I heard the series are about to end soon…NOOO! Kanda! –shakes her mongentai plushie violently- I'll give you a poofie plushi of my own if you review, okay? Whee!! A big hug to all those so supportive to me all the way, thank you! And…ow…-faints from fatigue-


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